Finding Joy and Meaning During the Holiday Season: A Therapist’s Perspective

The holiday season is a time that brings many emotions to the surface. For some, it’s a season of joy, celebration, and togetherness, while for others, it can feel like a time of stress, loneliness, or even grief. As a therapist, I’ve worked with many individuals who find this time of year particularly difficult, often because of the pressure to meet certain expectations or because the holidays bring up feelings of loss or unmet needs.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from the “holiday spirit,” you’re not alone. But it’s also important to recognize that joy and meaning can still be found during this season — and it doesn’t have to look like the festive imagery we see in movies or social media. The truth is, the holidays offer a unique opportunity to reflect on our lives, deepen our connections with others, and cultivate moments of peace and gratitude — even in the midst of chaos.

Here are some thoughts to consider as you navigate the holiday season with more presence, peace, and perhaps a renewed sense of joy.

1. Reevaluate Your Expectations

One of the biggest sources of stress during the holidays is the weight of unrealistic expectations. We’re often conditioned to believe that the holidays should be perfect — filled with family gatherings, lavish meals, and joyful moments. But this idealized version of the holidays doesn’t always align with reality. There may be financial concerns, relationship tensions, or personal challenges that make it difficult to achieve this picture of perfection.

As you approach the season, take a step back and consider what you truly need and want from the holidays. Let go of comparisons to others and instead focus on what would make the season meaningful for you, whether that’s through simpler traditions, quieter moments of reflection, or taking care of your own mental and emotional well-being.

2. Honor Your Emotions

The holiday season can stir up a wide range of emotions, and that’s okay. If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, feeling isolated, or struggling with anxiety, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings without judgment. You don’t have to “force” yourself into a festive mood to be valid or deserving of a fulfilling holiday experience.

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Sometimes, just acknowledging the complexity of your emotions can create space for healing. It may also help to create new rituals or find small, comforting ways to honor your grief or sadness — whether that’s through lighting a candle in remembrance, writing a letter, or simply allowing yourself time to rest.

3. Practice Gratitude, Not Perfection

Gratitude can be a powerful antidote to the pressure of perfectionism. While it’s easy to get caught up in what’s missing or what’s going wrong, shifting your focus to the things you are thankful for — no matter how small — can help bring a sense of groundedness and meaning to your experience.

This doesn’t mean you have to pretend everything is perfect, but rather that you intentionally look for moments of beauty, connection, or peace in your life. Maybe it’s a quiet evening at home with a book, a warm cup of tea, or a phone call with a friend. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the difficult parts of life; it’s about recognizing the parts that are going well, even if they’re modest.

4. Create Space for Meaningful Connection

The holidays are often centered around family and social gatherings, but not everyone has a close-knit support system. For some, the season can amplify feelings of loneliness or isolation. If you’re struggling with this, know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to build connection even in unconventional ways.

Reach out to friends, neighbors, or colleagues who may also be feeling isolated, and make plans to spend time together in a way that feels comfortable. If family dynamics are challenging, consider creating new traditions with people who bring positivity and comfort into your life. Volunteering or participating in community events can also be a great way to find a sense of belonging and purpose.

5. Slow Down and Prioritize Self-Care

The busyness of the season can leave little room for rest, but taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do. If you’re constantly running around from one event to the next, it’s easy to burn out and lose sight of what truly matters. Give yourself permission to slow down, set boundaries, and say no when you need to. Rest and rejuvenation are essential for maintaining emotional balance, especially during times of stress.

Whether that means taking a walk outside, indulging in a hobby, or simply taking a nap, prioritize activities that restore and energize you. You may even want to create a daily or weekly practice of mindfulness or meditation to help you stay grounded amidst the holiday chaos.

6. Reflect on the Year and Set Intentions

The end of the year naturally invites reflection. Take some time to look back on the past months — both the challenges and the triumphs. What have you learned about yourself this year? What growth have you experienced? What are you most grateful for?

Once you’ve reflected, consider setting intentions or goals for the year ahead. These don’t have to be grand resolutions but can be small shifts in how you want to approach life in the coming year. Maybe it’s committing to a regular self-care routine, fostering more meaningful connections, or simply being more present in the moment. Setting positive intentions can create a sense of purpose and anticipation, helping you feel more hopeful and connected as you enter the new year.

7. Be Gentle With Yourself

Finally, I want to remind you to be gentle with yourself this season. The holidays are not a “one size fits all” experience, and your path to joy and meaning will look different from others’. It’s okay to create your own version of the holidays, and it’s okay to give yourself grace if things don’t go as planned.

Sometimes, the most important gift we can give ourselves is compassion. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, pause, and remember that you are doing your best. And that is enough.

The holiday season is an opportunity to cultivate joy and meaning, but it requires a shift in how we approach it. By reevaluating our expectations, honoring our emotions, practicing gratitude, creating space for connection, prioritizing self-care, reflecting on the year, and being gentle with ourselves, we can transform the holidays into a time of personal growth and fulfillment — no matter what challenges or complexities we may face.

May this holiday season bring you moments of peace, love, and connection, and may you find joy in the small, meaningful moments that are often the most profound.

If you would like to see how we can help, book a FREE 10 minute intake call here: Contact – Psychotherapist, Marriage Counselor, LMFT: NYC, Manhattan (embracingjoy.com)