Was it because of their accomplishments in life? Their creativity? Their beautiful voice or their gorgeous body? Or maybe their intellectual prowess?
Did you think, “Wow… they’re incredible!”?
But what about yourself?
Did the afterthought sound something like, “I could never be that amazing…”?
Think back to a moment when a dear family member gave you a compliment or praise. Perhaps your parents, grandparents, or your partner.
Did you think, “They don’t know what they’re saying. They’re just trying to be nice.”?
Did your value once again become just an afterthought, squashed immediately by you disallowing any credibility of their words?
Do you sometimes wish you could simply accept that you’re not as inferior as you think you are?
You’re not alone.
Sadly, many of us tend to think higher of others than of ourselves. Amazing, wonderful, or astonishing are not words we connect with our personality.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Discover What’s Truly Amazing About Yourself
Valuing yourself has nothing to do with being conceded. It’s not thinking more of yourself than you should. Neither is it about comparing yourself with others and patting yourself on the back for being so much better than them.
Valuing something—including yourself—is about how you behave toward what you value. How you see it as special and amazing, despite its flaws.
For example, you may value a memento from your past because of who gave it to you, what it reminds you of, or the way it impacts your feelings. Does it matter if it has some cracks or scratches? Do you compare it with other—newer or more expensive—things? Of course not! You cherish it and treat it with care.
The same happens when you learn to value yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, you begin to see all the things that are amazing about yourself, the things that make you unique. And that, in turn, will help you to think about yourself in a way that makes you cherish and care for yourself.
Where do you start?
Take a close look at your values
Consider in depth what you truly value. Write those values down, in a sense, drawing up your own personal constitution by which you will conduct yourself. Then respect these fundamental principles in all you do—how you treat others and yourself. When you consistently stay true to those values, you’ll gain purpose, compassion, and conviction and, overall, begin feeling more genuine.
Look for the positive things
Instead of giving in to your natural tendency to look for the flaws in yourself—the things that are negative, that make you feel anxious and down—make a concerted effort to discover something to appreciate or enjoy about yourself. Yes, something amazing! You have control over where you aim your focus. So direct it toward your strengths.
Staying true to your personal constitution, take stock of your abilities, talents, and skills—including your character strengths—objectively. Then value yourself by appreciating those strengths and good qualities, even if you need to improve in some.
Embrace your personal temperament
Determining your personality and inborn preferences will keep you from trying to press yourself into a mold that may prevent you from being authentic. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you like planning things out or being spontaneous? Do you prefer general ideas or specific details? Are you basing decisions mostly on your gut feelings or cold, hard facts? Do you prefer working out solutions in a group or alone?
Figuring out exactly what your personal temperament is can help you flourish. While going against the grain of your temperament wastes your energy on trying to fit in when you’re not really a misfit. Can you imagine how comforting and amazing it would be if you’d just give yourself the room to be who you are?
The Benefits of Discovering Your Value and Being True to Yourself
Consider just three of many:
- Exuberance – Being true to yourself makes your life richer, more active, full of energy and excitement, as you embark on ever new discoveries of yourself, your interests, your goals.
- Happiness – Not only will you be content that you’re able to truly express who you are but being able to communicate what you want and need will actually help you satisfy those needs and wants.
- Inner Peace – When your actions are in harmony with your thoughts, feelings, and values, you can experience an inner calm that can transcend any emotional conflict.
Above it all, when you identify who you truly are and what your values are, you can see with clarity that what’s amazing about yourself is that you’re unique—you’re you!
And nobody can take that from you. Nobody can devalue that—except yourself.
So, don’t ever lose sight of your genuine self, allowing yourself to get distracted by wishing you were different or assuming something about yourself that’s not valid. Rather, keep your focus on just how amazing you truly are!