It’s no surprise that most couples look forward to the intimate relationship involved in pregnancy planning, too.
When conception takes longer than expected, though, that initial spark can quickly fizzle out. This lack of luster opens the door for obligated sex.
Let’s be honest, having sex can seem like a chore when you do it simply because the fertility tracking app on your phone says it’s opportune baby-making time.
You don’t have to fall into a rut.
Following are six ways to keep things alive even when there is a procreating purpose in your love-making.
1. Remember to Communicate
Sex within an intimate relationship is usually meant for pleasure. When the goal changes from pleasure to procreating, it’s important to talk about it.
Be open with each other how you feel about sex now. It’s easier to make an intimate connection when you’re both on the same page.
It’s okay to keep it breezy, too. Humor about the whole unique process might actually help to lighten things up.
2. Schedule Sex-free Dates
Although intimacy involves a sexual relationship, it goes far beyond that. It’s important to connect in other intimate ways aside from sex. Especially now that sex has a slightly different focus.
A great way to do this is to schedule sex-free dates. Go to dinner, a couples pottery session, or anything that you both enjoy that creates a sense of closeness between you.
3. Share the Fertility Window Watch
In the past, the responsibility of knowing when the mom-to-be was fertile largely fell only on her. Try sharing that responsibility. There are a number of apps for smart devices that you and your partner can download.
When you are both aware of the fertility window, it makes the process more of a shared experience and less of a duty.
4. Keep Sex Spontaneous
While baby-making sex can be loads of fun, remember to have sex other times than only during your fertile periods. This will keep the spontaneity alive in your intimate relationship. It’s important to enjoy each other during this process even when there are times you “have” to have sex.
On your non-fertile days, it can almost seem daring to enjoy each other sexually. Be daring! Be spontaneous and take advantage of your sexually intimate relationship outside of obligatory moments.
Along those lines, don’t be afraid of switching things up. Have sex in a different area other than where you usually do. Nothing says spontaneous like changing locations.
5. Change Your Routine
If you’re like most people, then you are probably engaging in sexual intercourse right before bedtime. This is when it’s most convenient and when you can easily connect with one another. However, right before bed is also when you’re the most tired and least likely to enjoy it.
Make the extra effort to have sex at other times other than right before you snooze off to sleep. This might take some creativity, but it will help to keep things alive.
Try engaging in sex early in the morning or during your afternoon lunch break. These quick little moments create excitement and can still fall within your fertility window.
6. Stay on the Same Team
Keeping things alive and enjoyable in your sex life can be especially difficult if you’ve been trying to conceive for a long time. Many couples don’t have the luxury of quick conception, so the process seems more of a drain. It’s easy to get frustrated and to start pointing a blaming finger at one another.
Remember to stay on the same team! Share in the disappointment when you discover you’re efforts didn’t pan out. Comfort one another and vow to maintain your intimate connection even with frustrating roadblocks.